I trembled with excitement and fear. As I held the thumbnail of the book in my mind’s eye, there was overwhelming relief. And a sense of closure: culminating when I pressed the go live button on Amazon. The Destiny of Shaitan was in the real world.
For as long as I remember I have thought of myself as pregnant with this book. Shaitan by name and Shaitan by nature. It eluded me over the years. As I fell in love, married, moved countries, made new friends, changed jobs and miscarried in real life; hanging over it all was the finger of truth. That I had to find a way to give birth. Get the book out in the real world and perhaps then you may carry your child to term… a voice whispers to me.
Was Shaitan an excuse not to get pregnant? Or did I have to get pregnant and miscarry to find my true path. The first book is out. It is not perfect, but it gets my unconditional love. And like many who get pregnant quickly the second time, I am already half way through writing my next novel.
So now no more excuses. After being a metaphorical mother, perhaps I may even become a real one.