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It’s been a while since I blogged.

But something happened a few days ago that threw me. It made me realize I was turning exactly into the kind of person I swore I’d never become. One driven only by money.

It crept up on me and I’ve seen it happen before too. Last year I made a pact to myself I’d focus on making money from my books. Immediately there was a marked shift in how I approached my writing and my mindset to life changed. I became more cut-throat, selfish. Parts of me which are always there but which over the years I had chipped away at as I hated it so much about myself. In a sense I turned to writing because it helped me understand not just my motivations but because I liked the kind of person it made me. Creative, in touch with myself, honest.

Yeah, I value authenticity and honesty above all else.

Yet, a few days ago I found I’d become everything I hate. Again. Just a few days after declaring my intent to become a full time author by end of 2017.

The pressure you see was on again. And suddenly that creative part of me, which I value the most took a back seat. I became bottomline focussed, ready to do what it takes to get what I want. And this incident brought home how much this attitude is not me.

Once more it’s clear that I need to do this in my own terms. So I am rephrasing my commitment here “I will become a full time author by end 2017, but… only if it is without compromising on my own principles.”

  1. I will write only what I believe regardless of trends, market, etc. Write only that which feels right for me.
  2. I will focus inwards even more. Keep digging in for that which is so dear to me. Step back from the chatter so prevalent. Embrace the silence and space I need to think. Embrace that which is right for me.
  3. I will do things but in my own time, work to a strategy which suits me. I will not be driven by someone else’s plan or timings. This is key. If I do it my own way, in my own time, I will not be tempted to bend the rules.
  4. I will do it. Just in my way. It may take me longer, but I’ll get there.

-Laxmi

 

 

 

Laxmi Hariharan - Exhale

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Laxmi Hariharan - Exhale

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Get your FREE copy of Exhale, a standalone story in the Many Lives epic paranormal romance series by NYT bestselling author LAXMI Hariharan.

Check your email and verify your email address now to get your free copy of Exhale from Laxmi Hariharan!

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