Why I don’t want it all | Laxmi Hariharan
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Why I don’t want it all

The myth of the modern have-it-all-woman is dead

 When I think of the modern woman, the image that comes to mind is of a many limbed goddess who does many things at the same time ie. a modern day woman who is simultaneously on the phone, on email, while cooking dinner, taking care of the kids & also earning the daily bread.  It’s a well-known fact that women multi-task more efficiently than men. Yet I wanted to share my own insight into this. My take: the multitasking, domestic goddess who is a bitch in the boardroom and a whore in the bedroom is dead. Invented as she was by the Sex & the City generation, it’s a great ‘Gucci’ propagated myth, to help sell those four inch heels, she never existed. This was a story created to make normal every day women like you and me climb the walls and work ourselves into a neurotic groove from where we spend our life comparing our lives to that of the Duchess of Cambridge or the Princess of Park Avenue. All we see are those glossy well groomed locks, the designer dress & the four wheeled SUV in which she drops her kids to work before heading off to yoga class. How about the normal woman like me who is caught up in the every day rush to wake up early – try to write – catch the tube to work –  make sense of those ratings numbers – go toe to toe with egoistic men – then buy the groceries on the way home – serve dinner – fall asleep…. All this while trying to grab some mind space for oneself. In fact I am fast coming to the conclusion that the can – have – it- all – woman is a rumour disseminated by men who look at us from the sidelines, chuckling with mirth, as we women drive ourselves mental in trying to fit this image. So I have decided, that I for one, don’t want to have it all—because I am selfish. I don’t want to live the myth of that unknown perfect woman. I am going to be a flawed, self-centred, egotistic female who has decided to only choose the things I want, the ones which make me happy, that are the most important for me. And if this means I don’t play all the roles needed to fit the bill of that super-woman who has it all, then so be it! Atleast I have a glimmer of inner peace in my mind?

PS—watch this space to find out what I have decided to give up. All will be revealed very soon. 


  1. Amanda says:

    Excellent post. The whole "have it all" thing irks me. It's also something that pits us against one another, makes us think we're not as good as someone else.
    Feel free to add your post to the linky! http://www.livinglearninglovinglife.com/2012/09/celebrating-womanhood-because-women-are-amazing.html

  2. Deanna says:

    Well said. We might be able to "have it all" but not all at the same time. And it's foolish to try. Life's too short to spend it on a hamster wheel, running and running but never getting anywhere.