Why I want to be more like this Young Adult | Laxmi Hariharan
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Why I want to be more like this Young Adult

This is not a long post, because I am in the throes of trying to write Ruby Iyer’s story.  Actually, I can’t say I am writing her, as much as she is leading me. Ruby has her own energy, from the moment of her conception. She finds her friends and plots her route; arrogantly confident I will follow. 

She can be incredibly pigheaded, very adamant. It often gets her into some rather unfortunate situations, which is not easy because actually she is very sensitive; quite self conscious of what the world thinks of her. It can be hugely conflicting, and I know it messed her up quite a bit when she was growing up. But Ruby has a real quirky sense of humor which surfaces just in time to remind her not to take things too seriously.

Now, whenever I find myself getting too cynical, feel the bitterness overcoming me or lose faith in myself, I try to emulate Ruby… not take myself too seriously.  I am doing pretty okay after-all, no need to act like the end of the world you know? Drama Queen

But most importantly, it is Ruby who reminds me over and over again that I just need to go with the flow sometimes; I need to just trust, from the inside out, know what I mean? 
She brought about a subtle shift. Blink and I would have missed it. All I can say is, it is a nuance. It’s not blind faith, more like now being able to shut my eyes and see the real colours. Of kind of stepping forward and finding that there is a path. 
It’s not a clear highway, but a simple unpaved road, slightly muddy, some of it is lost in the mist too. It’s not a straight path as you’ve been taught what life should be. It’s a little more interesting: ambling around hills, taking in the sceneary sometimes, skipping across small rivers. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not all pretty either. There are a few tough passes; yet tip-toeing along, step by step, I find myself more confident with each forward inch.
It’s a subtle letting go of the perceptions.

No, not fatalism; more like being in the simple present, than the past perfect. Of just being what I am, every day. Day in and day out. Then when someone tells you it’s not possible, you just know it’s not true. That is when you realise, you just keep doing what you are doing. That’s it really.

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